If Hatefuel's Ugly-Ass Blogs is for anything, it's for attacking Sheltered V:12. I can actually feel brain cells dying from shock.

Words cannot describe how this website offends. Go see for yourself. I'll wait.....

Jesus! Can you believe what you just saw? Surely, your mind reels at the pure awfulness of that website! It is so terrible that I feel like I need to invent a new word: vomitacious. That blog is so bad it's vomitacious.

Background: seizure-inducing.
Type-font: so small that I think the owner is secretly ashamed of whatever she's writing about. I am going cross-eyed from even trying to read about her sad life.
Color scheme: What feces would look like if Muppets crapped. On acid.
Christina Aguilera: I got an STD just by looking at her picture.

The democritization of the internet has met a new and appalling low today.

My God. Some people don't have the goadamn sense that God gave to chimps. A chimp looking upon Lily of the Valley would stop for a moment and apply a few easy HTML tips to fix up theis piss-poor blog. It's not hard to put margins in things. There is no excuse for slamming text right up against graphics.

The random wide-open space of the let-hand bar is just inexcusable, and the varying typefonts of the main body makes baby Jesus cry. The repeating icons of mice and lips make me want to smoke crack.

Obviously designed by someone with a lower IQ than a chimp. I'm betting on lemur or marmoset, or some other lower form of primate.

Welcome to Ravenheart. Ugh, ugh, ugh.

The usual Hatefuel litany: painfully small type, vicious crotch-punching color scheme, and a horrible, horrible background of red and purple stars. I haven't read any of the entries, because of the terrible stabbing pains in my eyes, but I'm betting that the owner is a sexually repressed 22 year old with bad taste in clothes and a job at Orange Julius.

PS - Ravens are fucking crows, fer chrissakes. There is nothing cool about them. They are dirty carrion eaters, and about as romantic as dumpster diving for food. On the flying vermin scale, they score slightly above pigeons.

Ok, one more pet peeve, then I'll lie down with my demerol drip and skin mags:

Check and see if our damn site renders in more than IE!

Visit Wifetalks in Mozilla (Netscape). Now visit it in Explorer. Fucking idiots make me want to beat my dog in frustration.....A perfectly functional (if poorly thought out and executed) website ruined because someone can't fucking be bothered to have two browsers on their machine to check layout with.

For the record, I'm no purist. I don't give a flying fuck whether or not a website is compliant with whatever masturbatory advisory agency tries to promulgate. But fer chrissakes, Mozilla and IE cover somethng like 99.3252345% of web traffic, so you can at least check those two out. If your really bored, maybe you can check Mac compatibility with their new shizznit: Safari. C'mon, people! It's not that hard!

Oh, God, when will the migraines end? How long will the image of this craptacular blog be burned into my retinas?

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present: body, mind, soul.

Let's begin with the use of the Scroll-tag. Everyone and their retarded sister hates the scroll tag. You hate it, too; admit it. But the text in the scroll tag is what I really like: Stop Press!!!!. It's as if someone dropped an Engrish bomb in here.....

But that's not the worst of it. No, it's the color scheme. The background image is just BARELY tolerable, but the Blue on blue on blue color scheme makes me want to find this little baby Harrison and explain to him that he might be better off if his ma, Morgan, keeps him away from the writer of "body, mind, soul." The first rule of online publishing should be make it godamned readable!

Finally, the annoying doodads scattered willy nilly remind me of so much blog code vomited out onto a text editor.....

I'm going to lie down now. I feel sick and drained. Why did I follow that link?!?!?

Welcome to Hatefuel's Ugly-Ass Blogs! I could explain why I'm doing this, but who cares?

The first Ugly-Ass Blog scores bonus points for its name: There are no more tickets to the funeral!

First, it has a blink-tag. Satan has a special shithole reserved for users of the blink-tag. Also, the layout looks like it was designed by a Faulknerian idiot man-child in his spare time between drooling out on the front lawn and jacking off to ratty year-old porn mags. Finally, the text is black on dark purple, rendering it impossible to read. The overall aesthetics remind me of a congealing 3-day-old cunt-rag left in that little wastebasket by the toilet.

Although reading it gives me a massive headache, from the most recent entry I assume the content is the same blog crap about this so-called Laine's miserable life and friends, and their pathetic passage of time on my planet.....I get it: You're sad. Tell you what: take some freaking Prozac, grow up, cut your hair, and get a real job, "Laine."